


Double D's

by namelessshipping



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, Light Angst, Pictures
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 15:03:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20473007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/namelessshipping/pseuds/namelessshipping
Summary: As in karkat and Dave go on a double date with Vriska and terezi//Mostly for funDedicated to my moirail Coral, love u mwah mwah





	Double D's

Dave: okay so 

Dave: remember the date 

Dave: it's actually a double date… 

Dave: with Vriska and terezi 

Karkat: ARE YOU SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW 

Dave: nah pants are pretty clean 

Karkat: YOU MOTHERFUCKER 

Karkat: YOU ABSOLUTE VACUOUS BRAINDEAD SIMPLETON MORON 

Dave: ok 

Karkat: OKAY WHY WOULD I WANT TO GO ON A DATE WHILE SITTING ACROSS FROM ME IS MY NOW-MOIRAIL, EX FLUSH CRUSH AND HER ARACHNID-ESQUE MATESPRIT THAT GETS HER KICKS FROM MAKING FUN OF MY INSECURITIES YOU FUCKING DUMBASS 

Karkat: FOR WHAT REASON WOULD I WANT THAT 

Dave: are you done throwing a bitch fit yet 

Karkat: IM NOT THROWING A BITCHFIT 

Karkat: THIS IS A SERIOUS ISSUE 

Karkat: YOU NEVER LISTEN TO WHAT I WANT 

Dave: kitkat 

Dave: we are not going to have an existential crisis and argue in a car before we go on a double date 

Dave: i have super sick suit i bought 

Dave: i gotta rock it 

Dave: otherwise whats the point karkles 

Dave: whats the point 

Karkat: THE POINT IS THAT THIS IS BEYOND MORONICALLY STUPID 

Karkat: AND 

Karkat: I FEEL LIKE YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME... 

** **

: oh 

Dave: _oh_

Dave: shit kat i didnt mean to upset you 

Dave: we can talk about it... 

Dave: 

Dave: at dinner with vriska and terezi 

Karkat: OH MY FUCK 

Dave: sorry 

Karkat: THIS HAPPENS EVERYTIME 

Karkat: YOURE DOING THE SAME THING I JUST ASKED YOU NOT TO DO 

Dave: i know 

Dave: i just- 

Dave: can this wait until later 

Karkat: GOD 

Karkat: FINE WHATEVER 

Karkat scurries to the back of the car slightly disgruntled. He seems kinda lonely back there… You feel guilt well up at the bottom of your stomach but you continue driving without a word until you reach the restaurant.

Karkat shifts from his stiff position in the back and tries to stand up before realizing he's in a car and hits head on the roof. He sits down, rubbing his head but the enraged look is still present on his face.

Karkat: YOU SNIVELING DOUCHEFAUCET MORON 

Dave: love you too babe 

Karkat: YOU BROUGHT US TO A FUCKING BURGERKING 

Karkat: A _FUCKING BURGERKING_

Dave: yeah 

Dave: their burgers are the sickest 

Dave: have you tasted that sweet sweet bun 

Dave: and that juicy meat in the middle 

Dave: i am deeply in love with Burger King burgers 

Dave: like i am balls deep dude 

Karkat: I DONT NEED TO KNOW THE DETAILS OF WHERE YOUR ALIEN HUMAN MEAT ROD HAS BEEN STUFFED AND HOW FAR 

Karkat: JUST WHY 

Karkat: I GOT DRESSED FOR THIS 

Dave: you literally put on a shirt over your other one 

Karkat: OK AND 

Karkat: THATS GETTING DRESSED 

Dave: with minimal effort 

Dave: but i respect the hustle 

Dave: the extremely low-effort non-existent hustle 

Karkat: SHUT UP MORON 

Karkat growls, grabbing you by the wrist. His small claws dig into your wrist as he angrily stomps inside to meet Vriska and Terezi.


End file.
